Welcome into the Café!

We are decision-making creatures. Most decisions are small, inconsequential, even subconscious. Some decisions matter a little more and take conscious effort to make, like what book to read next, but aren’t emotionally and psychologically taxing.

This week, however, we’re discussing those bigger decisions, the ones that we know have rippling consequences throughout our life, ones that often dredge up fears and worries even as they inspire us or give us hope.

And this week, I present the results of such a decision I’ve had to make for myself.

The Colorism book tour lands in Dallas this week for a sold out author talk and book signing at Whose Books. I’ll be in conversation with Dr. Jay Guillory (@black_boysread), followed by audience Q&A, then signing. I have really looked forward to this event because some of my most enthusiastic support has come from the DFW metro area. See you all there this Tuesday, September 8, at 7pm.

I knew that our Virgo new moon on September 10th would be a main ingredient of our Flavor of the Week. Then I pulled a tarot card for a second ingredient and got The Hermit—the Virgo card. So, clearly, this is Virgo season, and it has a message for us this week!

The Gandalf, I mean The Hermit card is a card of introspection, often in solitude. It represents a time, not unlike a new moon, where the world is dark, external sources of light seem scarce, and all we have to guide us on our path is our own light. This card asks us to practice trusting our own inner awareness and inner truth, our own wisdom that we’ve acquired from our life journey so far, and to know that we have a direct connection to divine knowing.

Don’t be afraid of solitude this week, even if just for an hour. Fear not! The presence of this card doesn’t mean you become a hermit who has to spend the rest of your life alone in a remote hut in the forest. It’s simply a reminder to not let outside influences and external noise drown out your own inner voice.

At the bottom of the deck when I pulled The Hermit, was The Lovers card, which represents Gemini. Virgo and Gemini are both ruled by the planet of Mercury, so brainstorming, writing, reading, journaling, thinking, planning, organizing ideas and thoughts, and such, could all prove to be fruitful tasks.

Gemini and Virgo also square each other on the zodiac wheel, which means they create a relationship of tension. Tension can be uncomfortable, and it catalyzes change, supports stability, creates a way forward as with tension bridges, and provides a source of potential energy.

The Lovers card, and to an extent Gemini energy, is about choice. Is there an uncomfortable choice you’re navigating in this season? Is there a delayed decision causing additional tension in your life?

I associate The Lovers card with our dharma and the choices that lead us on the dharmic path. For the sake of briefly explaining it here, we’ll say this is the spiritually aligned path that leads to ultimate personal fulfillment and self-actualization. Which choice is most likely to lead us to that?

Sometimes the choice that is best for us isn’t the easy choice. I pulled two other cards that I won’t bore you with, but they reveal that in this instance the choice before us makes us feel stuck in a deadlock. We may observe two seemingly conflicting truths. We may be bogged down with over-rationalizing, over-relying on logic, or stuck in a gridlock based on fear of disappointing someone. Sometimes our choices, even when they are the best choice, lead to heartbreak. It’s like asking, how can I make a choice that doesn’t upset anyone, and sometimes that simply isn’t possible.

When it comes to making important decisions, I often think about Natalee Arteaga’s question: “Are you confused, or just afraid?”

We often keep telling ourselves, “I don’t know! I just don’t know!” When really, the deeper part of us, our soul, absolutely knows, and we’re just afraid to accept it, so we hide behind not understanding the logic of it. There’s no empirical logical basis for choosing xyz, so I can’t move forward or act on what my body is telling me, on what my heart wants, on what my intuition or dreams are showing me.

Patriarchy and capitalism fight hard to isolate us from our intuitive knowing. This week invites you to practice trusting your gut. Practice following your heart. Practice listening to the feminine wisdom of your body, even if you primarily identify as a masculine person.

I use the word “practice” intentionally, because after a lifetime of training ourselves to suppress and ignore that aspect of ourselves, it could require a period of recalibrating and reattuning ourselves to that kind of body, gut, heart, intuitive, soul knowing.

This week, practice getting acquainted with your wisdom within.

Dr. Sarah’s Café is officially more than a newsletter. We now have an online hub to gather, fill our cups, and fulfill our dreams. In this upgraded café space, we do all café things: open mics, book clubs, networking, workshops, spiritual readings, and more. Some features are free. Som features are paid. The first 10 people to sign up by November 1st get a founding membership rate of 50% off for as long as you remain a member. You can easily access the free café community here, and learn about upgrading to a paid membership here.

Opening this virtual café was an uncomfortable choice because it seems so different from the work most people know me for (it’s really not that different), and because launching something you care about to the public feels so vulnerable. Yet this is also one of the most delightful choices of my life so far, and I don’t want to imagine another day where this is not part of my waking reality.

Journal- Think about an uncomfortable or difficult decision on the table for you, then take your time reflecting and journaling in response to the following questions:

Affirm- I have wisdom. My body sends me important signals all the time. My gut and my heart have a deep, soulful intelligence that I am learning to recognize and trust.

“…which way to go?”

One of my all-time favorite songs by one of my all-time favorite artists.