“I think each of us can remember a moment when we looked deeply, hoping to see over the edge of what we know about space-time.” —Chanda Prescod-Weinstein

And by looking deeply, we hope to see over the edge of what we know about ourselves at the most personal and individual scales, which of course is a fractal of the cosmos.

Welcome in to Dr. Sarah’s Soul Café, beautiful!

For our Flavor of the Week, I riff on the idea/reality of boundaries by combining the physics I read over the weekend and the astrology of our solar eclipse in Leo on August 12th. Since eclipses in astrology are connected to fate and destiny, I ask: What are we bound by, bound to, and bound for?

My theory is that we are bound for a boundary…

Come meet me in person and get a signed copy of my new book Colorism: The Politics of Skin Tone and How We Get Free. Here’s my August schedule so far:

I’m also celebrating the good news that Colorism has been featured by both Essence and Ebony magazines! Both of these Black household staples wallpapered my childhood and adolescence. In some ways, that’s a literal “wallpapering” since I often made collages from the pages of these magazines and hung them on the walls of my room. Colorism is available in paperback, audiobook, and ebook wherever books are sold and at local libraries! Apparently some libraries even have a waiting list for my audiobook!!

This question of boundaries began on Friday when I pulled cards for our Flavor of the Week and got Oshun of Divine Wrath and Oshun of Boundaries (Faces of Oshun Oracle Deck). This perfect pair of cards immediately reminded me that anger is often a signal that a boundary has been crossed (which I first heard from Natalee Arteaga).

So I already knew I’d be writing about boundaries before I recognized that I’d also be reading about boundaries on Sunday in The Edge of Space-Time: Particles, Poetry, and the Cosmic Dream Boogie by Chanda Prescod-Weinstein. While sitting in Pavé, I wrote in the margins of page 86, “This is like humans understanding who we are by being aware of who/what we are not. What are the boundaries of ME? Where do I begin and end?”

That line of questioning is quite relevant to our upcoming solar eclipse which involves the signs of Aries, Leo, and Aquarius, the planet of Saturn, and obviously the Sun and the Moon.

We’re now experiencing eclipses in the signs of Leo and Aquarius, which sit opposite each other on the zodiac wheel. This “opposition” creates tension between conflicting priorities. At a basic level, Leo prioritizes individual self expression and Aquarius prioritizes the collective ideals of our social groups or of the larger society. You likely have experienced at least one moment in your life when those two priorities conflicted. These eclipses are likely to call attention to other areas of our lives where this tension exists. That’s where boundaries are revealed, pushed, challenged, renegotiated, dissolved, or reconfigured.

Sometimes, what we want is also what the group wants, what we want to do is exactly what our community needs us to do. For example, I love to teach and society needs lots of teachers. But oftentimes there’s a conflict between what we authentically desire and what the group expects or demands. For example, I desire to teach without a grading system, but our social institutions of schools and universities demands it. That’s the kind of tension these Leo — Aquarius eclipses could bring to the forefront of our awareness and catalyze a different choice than the one we’ve made before.

Speaking of educational institutions, this reminds me of the lively debate about Tuskegee University’s new dress code policy banning bonnets, durags, and pajamas in certain spaces on their campus. The university’s rationale is that the dress code prepares students for professional careers where those articles of clothing are not accepted. Regardless of your position on that question, it’s a very Leo — Aquarius question of how individuals desire to express themselves versus social expectations of how they should exist.

The Tuskegee question is also reflective of Saturn in Aries: Saturn being the old, the institution, the boundary, the strict school master. Aries being the young, the individual willpower and drive, the pioneering spirit, and the common people. Saturn is now retrograding in Aries, which means we’re more likely to reconsider and renegotiate these kinds of tensions and boundaries. Dress codes broadly speaking ask us to consider the boundary between institutional power and individual autonomy of our bodies. I’m more of a “my body, my choice,” person.

The sign of Aquarius is governed by Saturn as its traditional ruler. But Aquarius is also the sign of revolution, reform, exploration, and the realm of science, especially new and innovative science. So in that way it’s more like the pioneering spirit of Aries. And this is why Aquarius needs the authentic individuality of Leo to spark exploration and innovation at the boundaries and in the margins of our societies and social institutions. As Prescod-Weinstein explains:

So, if you’re experiencing some Oshun-like anger about Tuskegee’s dress code policy, it’s probably because you feel the institution has crossed a personal boundary. Even if you’re not a student, this news is triggering the trauma of this type of boundary crossing for many of us, especially Black women who are always policed about our hair and overall physical appearance. Yet moments like this that make us hyperaware of this ongoing conflict between our personal boundaries and institutional or systemic power present an opportunity to challenge and push our social boundaries.

To what degree do we relinquish our individuality and authenticity in order to be accepted by the group or institution? What’s the boundary of me and the group, me and the government, me and my family? And how can my individuality and authenticity push the collective beyond the bounds of what’s already accepted as truth?

Your answers to these kinds of questions will be uniquely your own, and everyone’s answer will be different!

My opening quote by Prescod-Weinstein was referencing Alice in Wonderland, and just minutes after reading that section in her book, I came across this Alice in Wonderland window display at the Barnes & Noble I was visiting to purchase copies of the Essence magazine edition my new book is featured in.

Yall know I love me a synchronicity! The meaning I assign to this one is confirmation that I’m (once again) on my own adventure of discovery and transformation. On the other side of this adventure, my view and understanding of my world and myself will soon be radically different. It’s already happening.

My life has always been a queer one, even long before I understood how that also applied to my sexuality. I’ve always been “the weird one” in how I act, how I dress, my interests… And as a dark-skinned Black American woman who chose to start wearing my natural afro hair at 16 and has never worn straight hair since then, I’ve lived at the margin, at the boundary of what’s deemed feminine, what’s deemed professional, what’s deemed nonthreatening and approachable for most of my life. I don’t intend to go back. Rather, I’m on course to discover where the next edge might be.

You are too. We all are in our own unique ways.

And this is how the universe expands—each of us bound for our own edge of becoming…

If you’d like a 1-1 session with me, book a Coffee Date!

“Oshun of Divine Wrath” immediately reminds me of Professor Brittney Cooper’s bestselling book, Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower.

I earn a small commission on items purchased through my affiliate links, not just the items I recommend.

These might stretch you a little. Just remember they don’t have to be literal. Let these prompts and affirmation spark and inspire any form of self-reflection you’re drawn to.

A song about healthy boundaries in relationships from a South Louisiana artist who’s literally family (via two marriages, lol). The chorus: “You do you. Imma do me. But when we get together, we do we!” After a long, heady email, I figured I’d send you off with something you can bop to.

Much Love and Sincerely,
Dr. Sarah